He is Tending to Me

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Matthew 6:26 (NIV84)

Wow…it’s been a very long time since I’ve blogged. I have sort of been in hiding. Much “life” has happened and though my desire to write has remained, my time has been short and even more than that, my words have been few.

Life does happen, but I don’t like it when it gets me off track. I ran off the road after things like change of job and schedule and season piled up, topped off by deep disappointment in some things for me, and unexpected health concerns in our family.

As I was driving home this morning I began to ponder my personal responses in those “life” situations. I thought about how most of us are wired as fight or flight people, but then I realized how I can flip-flop. For many, many months I have allowed the things mentioned above to distract me from diligent time in the Word. I haven’t been in fight mode. It seems I reserve that more for crises. 

Growing up, moments of trauma or crisis often caused the flight response in me. So much so that God seemed to use it to allow me to block memories until I was spiritually strong enough to work through them. Having since been set free from those things, it seems as though God has shifted the pendulum. In most traumatic things He now gives me the ability to be strong and fight during the crisis, and graciously holds much of my emotion at bay, letting it catch up with me later after things settle.

This week however, I seem to be a flip-flop. After heading in to a follow-up doctor appointment hopeful after my husband’s recent heart attack, and receiving news different than we expected, I have struggled to stay present and fight and not resort to the flight response. I have been overwhelmed with tough stuff including drastic dietary changes and feelings of the enemy trying to isolate us (after all we love fellowshipping with friends and food!). For the last two days – and maybe even some today as I write this - I feel like I’d rather pull the covers over my head and try again next week.

But God... God is tending to me in my plight. Before my day even started He had graciously put me on the mind of two friends who checked in with me by text. Yesterday He reminded me as I made a call through tears that He tends to the needs of the birds of the air when a beautiful feathered friend perched itself on my car – and how much more He will care for me (Matthew 6:26). Then He graced me with lunch and lovely conversation with a dear friend and put others in my path at just the right time. The day before, He started the day by giving a friend discernment and scripture before we headed to the doctor. And He made sure my close friend was home and available afterward when I needed to pour out my heart and cry. That night He had others call or text to express their love and concern for us. I know He knows, and I know He sees. I know He is tending to me.

Through much prayer (maybe even a little whining), lots of tears, and the prayer and encouragement of good friends, I feel a bit more resolve today. Prayer works wonderfully that way. For days I have tried to be a woman of few words because I was thankful the Lord was allowing my Michael to press on with such a positive outlook, and I didn’t want to bring him down. But truthfully, I needed a few days to catch up! Days filled with prayer and time to soak up the scriptures He’s given me to cling to, time to pour out my heart to a girlfriend or two, time to fill my head repetitively with the song He’s given me to praise Him with. The final turning point may have been the words of my daughter’s devo this morning that reminded me “troubles will come” and only eternity will be “trouble free”. As my life verse (Proverbs 3:5) and the title of her devotion says, I need to “Trust Him Anyway”! Today I feel God starting to restore my strength so that I can fight again. He’s making my footing sure and planting me back on solid ground. He is tending to me.

The Lord is good and His plans are good – yes, even for me and my family. And if I really want the knowledge and discernment I have been asking Him for, He’s revealed it will more often than not, come through affliction (Psalm 119:66-72). Gulp…lump in my throat! I guess I need to be ready.

"Fruitfulness in Ministry"

"I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who makes things grow." 1 Corinthians 3:6-7

Some are called to be planters and others waterers, but God is the means by which one grows. God is the One who gives the increase. And increase is a continuing work of God. When a plant grows it is because God caused it to do so. David Guzik once said, "Real fruitfulness in ministry happens when we are peacefully content with what God has called us to do."

Verse 8 concludes by saying, "the man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor." This reminds us that we are all on the same team - both planters and waterers - working toward the same goal. Reward is not given for our talent or giftedness in planting or watering, but according to our labor in doing so.

Lord Jesus, You are Sovereign over all things. Thank You for calling me to work for You. I know I cannot work without You. Show me daily what You want me to do. In Jesus' name, amen.

"Playing Favorites"

"...God does not show favortism, but accepts men from every nation who fear Him and do what is right." Acts 10:34b-35

In our humanness, it is sometimes hard to wrap our minds around the fact that God has no favorites. He, with no impartiality, accepts everyone who fears His name and lives according to His Word.

I must admit, sometimes I struggle with insecurity in this area. I may look at others and see how they are growing in their faith or what they are accomplishing for the Lord, and think in the back of my mind, "They must be one of God's favorites!" The next day my thoughts might be turned the other way around. I might strive to do things without checking the motives in my heart and realize, I am secretly trying to earn a spot on "God's Favorites" list. In reality, these are foolish lies I am buying in to; deception from the enemy himself.

Truth is, according to God's Word (the standard by which I am to live my life by), God does not play "favorites". Hard as it is to comprehend some days, we are looked upon with favor, but not in such a way that one person is elevated above another. God's Word says in Psalm 5:12, "For surely You, O LORD, You bless the righteous; You surround them with Your favor." 

To be surrounded with favor means to be guarded on every side as with a shield. "...the favor of God is to the saints a defense on every side." (Matthew Henry)  It is meant to be a place of divine protection. A place I can feel safe and satisfied. As God's child I am favored...and so are you!

Lord Jesus, Help me to understand that Your favor is a form of protection in my life. A place of security and satisfaction. Help me to be satisfied in being favored by You! In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

A Few of My Favorite Things...

A quiet morning at the beach...

Alone time with God and His Word...

Mid-morning sun and the sound of the crashing waves under my umbrella...

...joined by my husband and a good book!

"If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
even there your hand will guide me, and Your strength will support me."

Psalm 139:9-10

Thank You Lord, for meeting me at the ocean's edge.

Time alone with You at the beach is like therapy for my soul.

* * *

Just for fun!

Favorite beach memories...

Beach parties with the boys...

Beach parties with our girl (and sand bucket cake!)...

Beach weekends with family...

 ...and my favorite beach picture of all time.

(Miss you Billy Mattox!)



Heart Matters

"I am He who searches hearts and minds, and I will repay each of you according to your deeds." Revelation 2:23b

My God sees my heart and knows the motive behind every thought in my mind. What is in my heart and on my mind matters to Him. His Word says that "Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7b). It also says that after He searches the heart and examines the mind, He will reward man "according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve" (Jeremiah 17:10). I am reminded as well that I am called to acknowledge the Lord, serve Him with wholehearted devotion, and a willing mind (1 Chronicles 28:9). Jeremiah said on more than one occasion, "for to You I have committed my cause".

If I surrender my will, my own fleshly dreams and desires, to God's will; if I make His cause, my cause...then prayerfully my hearts desire and my dreams will line up with His plans for me, and I will live a fruitful life for the kingdom.

Lord Jesus, Please forgive me for the times I have run ahead of You, making plans in vain without first consulting You, or waiting on Your will. I know full well that I may plan my way but it is You Lord, that orders my steps. Test my heart and know my thoughts. Reveal any offensive ways in me. Correct any motives that do not please or glorify You. Align my will with Yours O Lord. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Seasons of Drought

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:7-8


It's been a season of drought. Self-inflicted famine, if you will. It wasn't intentional...it just happened. One day out of the Word, led to two or three in a row at times. Then back to the Word, but for less time and getting seemingly less out of it. That led to fewer journal entries written, and even fewer I was willing to share. I have been feeling more and more depleted. My roots have not been getting nearly enough water, and any remaining moisture in them is drying up. It's time for a lengthy retreat with the Lord! I take full responsibility. I could use the excuses of unexpected circumstances, changes in life, and just being flat worn out...but they would be just that, excuses.

During a devotional time this week my pastor spoke on Matthew 5:6 which says,"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied." He explained that the less we are in the Word, the easier it is to stop being in the Word. But the more we get into the Word, the less satisfied we will be, and the more we will want to be in the Word. That's what it means to "hunger and thirst" for righteousness. To hunger and thirst for more of God. To get a satisfying filling from His Word, and then get hunger pains that make you want to go back for more. I want to be a woman like that. I want to get back to that place...

Father God, I am in desperate need of a retreat alone with You. Time to dwell in Your Word and get filled up on You. To talk to You about the things in my heart, and wait for You to speak to them. I thank You for speaking to the drought in my life before the roots dried up, and for giving me a constant desire to be in Your presence - and for the grace shown when I am not. I want to be a tree whose roots linger by the stream. A well watered tree bearing much fruit for You. Will You help me to re-organize my schedule to include regular, daily time with You again, and have the obedience to be there? Thank You in advance for what You have been doing to make this happen, and for what You surely will do... In Jesus' name, amen.

Speak, Lord...

"He who belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God." John 8:47

God's children hear His voice. He speaks in accordance with His Word. The parable of the seed and the sower says in Luke 8:15 that seed (or words of the Lord) that fall on good soil, fall on those with a noble and good heart, who hear the Word, retain it and persevere by producing a crop. Those who hear God's voice and walk in obedience, bring the Father glory. Such believers approach the throne with the attitude of Samuel who said, "Speak, Lord, for your servant in listening."

Father God, As I walk and talk with You today, I pray Your Words fall on the fertile soil of my heart, and that my words and actions reflect a heart of obedience and bring You glory. Speak, Lord, for Your servant is listening... I ask this in Jesus' name, amen.